Med school can get lonely. All those books and flashcards aren’t exactly comforting. Which is why impressing that hot young colleague of yours is duly important.
But how are you going to do it? Funny med student pick-up lines is one way!
The next time you’re looking to slide into those DM’s or impress a Tinder match, give these a try. You might not score a date but you’ll certainly leave an impression…
Med Student Pick Up Lines
- Eosin is red. Collagen stains blue. I’m stuck prepping slides, but thinking of you.
- Hey baby. Are you a medullary thyroid carcinoma? Because I’m a pheochromocytoma, which means we are MEN2B.
- Can I call you pia mater? Cause you’re always on my mind.
- Are you hypokalemia? Because you make me feel weak at the knees.
- Well arent you a sight for psoriasis!?
- Your looks are like a CD56+ lymphocyte. Natural Killer.
- Is that positive trendelenberg or is dat ass just out of control?
- Girl, I want my ligand in your receptor.
- Would you like me to test you for Chovstek’s sign? Cos you know I’d tap that.
- Erythema is red. Cyanosis is blue. I get apneic when I see you.
- Girl, You’re my growth factor.
- You must be calcification on a non-contrast CT, cause you’re just glowing.
- Babe, it don’t matter that you got diabetic retinopathy, because I heard love is blind.
- I get all Kluver-Bucy around you.
- Are you a pulmonary embolism? ‘Cause you make me breathless.
- You must have a C3 convertase inhibitor, because you’re impossible to complement. You’re already perfect.
- You must be giving me diabetes insipidus, because when I’m around you I can’t concentrate (my urine).
Medical Pick Up Lines: Reddit Favorites
- Are you one of my kidneys? Because I could live without you but I still like to have you inside me. ~ r/megsweg
- Are you on an EKG because you are a QT. ~ r/bulkydonut
- Are you Broca’s aphasia? Because you’re leaving me speechless. ~ r/stingypurkinje
- Hey girl, you must be my appendix, because I think I might die if I don’t take you out. ~ r/minecraftmedic
- Are you the eroding joint cartilage that causes osteoarthritis? ‘Cause you got me weak in the knees. ~ r/No0o0odle
- If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me? Smooth or rough? ~ r/aalku90
- Roses are red, violets are blue. I’d go into thousands of dollars of crippling debt just to examine you! ~ r/jennndennnn
- Are you a septic joint? Because I’d like to tap that. ~ r/harsai
- Did you cut my phrenic nerve? ‘Cause you take my breath away ~r/Naman256
- What muscle in the lower extremity causes lateral neck rotation? Your gluteus maximus. – r/Miracle___Max
- Are you PGE2? Because you’re so hot you gave me a fever. ~ r/wrongkinkajou
- Are you a berry aneurysm? Because you make me want to give you a stroke. ~ r/somedude95
- Are you a vulvar condition? Cause I’m lichen you a lot. ~ r/Ice_Duchess
- You are the sebum to my horny layer. ~ r/Xreal5k
- Are you an exothermic reaction? Because you spread your hotness everywhere. ~ r/Artistic-Healer
- Girl, you better be taking your folic acid, because I’m definitely getting you pregnant. ~ r/CremasterReflex
EMT Pick Up Lines
- ICU in my dreams.
- Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here’s an IV, So don’t die maybe?
- Is that a Laryngoscope handle in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
- I’m going to start calling you rapid response because you damn near stopped my heart. ~ r/chummybears
- Those clothes look uncomfortable… need me to cut them off for you?
Skeleton Pick Up Lines
- Girl are you an orthopedist? ‘Cause you make any limp go away.
- Girl are you my ex-fix? ‘Cause you stuck in my bones.
- You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
- Excuse me, are you osteoporosis? Because you’re giving me a serious bone condition.
Anatomy Pick Up Lines
- Are you a lateral pterygoid because you make my jaw drop.
- Are you the optic chiasm because you turned my world around.
- You’re giving me torticolis by the way you’re making my head turn.
- I hope my love for you is arterial, because I don’t want it to be all in vein.
- My adductor isn’t the only thing that’s longus.
Heart Pick Up Lines
- If you wink at me, I’ll Wenckebach.
- Girl I’m like the cure to pericarditis; tonight you won’t have to rub against yourself.
- Girl when you move across my body you cause an upward deflection in my P wave.
- I thought you were a 1st degree AV block, but then I noticed my PR interval wasn’t the only thing getting longer.
- Girl I’m the SA to your AV node; just let me set the pace and you will climax faster that you ever thought possible.
- I wish I was a Trypanosoma Cruzi so I could live in your heart.
- Blood is red, cyanosis is blue, I get tachycardia when I think of you. ~ u/SakuRasengan
- Are you the coronary artery? Because you’re wrapped around my heart.
- Girl if you play your cards right, I can squeeze you in between my preload and afterload.
- My love for you is so strong it can’t be dialyzed.
DNA/Cytoskeleton Pick Up Lines
- You must be a neuron, cause you’ve got some action potential.
- You can call me DNA helicase, because I’ll unzip your genes.
- I wish my name was Adenine so I could be paired with U.
- You’re like telophase. Nice cleavage.
- You must be proline-rich, because you’re kinky.
- I can’t tell if you a wild type, or a knockout.
- Are you on the end of the long arm of a small acrocentric chromosome? ‘Cause you are 22Qter.
- You must be cytoplasm because I want my organelles inside of you.
- I’ve been single-stranded too long! Lonely TCGTATGG would like to pair up with congenial AGCATACC.
- You’re so hot, you denature my enzymes.
- How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized or unfertilized.
- What’s the best part of the cell, next to the cytosplasm? the Nucle-US.
- I must be a restriction enzyme ’cause I wanna give you a sticky end.
- Your acetylated histones are really turning me on.
Pharmacology Pick Up Lines
- You must be clozapine because you make me drool uncontrollably.
- Girl you’re like propofol. You’re a knockout.
- Pharmacists Rx rated.
- Is your name Succinylcholine? Because you’re paralyzing.
- You should probably carry around memantine, since you’re causing some excitotoxicity.
- Propranolol is red, Digoxin is blue, my heart skips a beat when I see you.
- I need an Imodium, because I can’t hold in my love for you.
- You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air.
- I wonder if you can help me? I seem to be suffering from a lack of Vitamin U.
- Girl you must be norepinephrine, because you make my heart race!
- Not sure what my creatinine clearance is but I just can’t get you out of my system.
- Pharmacists do it over the counter.
- Portia, Heather, Marlissa, Errin, and Camila can’t give you a baby, but I sure can!
- Hey girl are you hiding opiates in your bra? Because you have a perky-set.
Medical Pick Up Lines: Final Thoughts
Who said medics can’t have fun? While not ALL of the above are likely to woo or impress, they do provide a little light relief from the heavy day-to-day.
And that’s definitely something you need!
If you enjoyed this post, you might find the following articles useful:
- When Is The Best Time To Get Married In Medical School? (11 Big Questions)
- Why Are Med Students So Attractive?
- Breaking Up Because Of Med School? 5 Reasons It Might Not Be So Bad
Image Credit: @Jonathan J. Castellon at Unsplash
Born and raised in the UK, Will went into medicine late (31) after a career in journalism. He’s into football (soccer), learned Spanish after 5 years in Spain, and has had his work published all over the web. Read more.